The specific tracks being Childhood Tragedy, Mary Todd and Late to the Theater. And yes it is meant to be Dante. I love having slow days at work and writing inspiration~!
~
Staring out the window, hands resting on the keys of the keyboard once again I couldn’t help but let my mind wander. And of course it went to where it had been going for the past year, to the world of those strange dreams that had dominated my nights. The dreams that had stopped two months ago. The dreams I had written down in the journal I kept in my nightstand. The dreams, that like the days from then, were fading into abstract memories with every passing sunrise. But that life was so much more fantastic, fighting monsters and saving people and the beautiful tiles that covered the streets and buildings and brought tears to my eyes just thinking about that city because of how beautiful it was. And the people I had come to know, who felt closer than the family and friends of my waking life. Several birds flew by in the small patch of blue that peeked in between the buildings. It had gotten easier to keep my face from showing anything I felt. How I longed to visit that world again. How I wished to feel his hand on my shoulder or see him smiling and cracking an admittedly lame joke. I missed the whole world and I missed him most of all.
“Hey, Boss, I think there is someone here for you.”
I looked away from the window, blinking back the memories of what never really was, a bit confused. “You think?”
The student worker nodded. “Yeah, long hair, bright make-up and frilly dresses. Glasses. Sounds just like you.”
Standing up I walked around my desk, joining her. “Didn’t ask for me by name?”
She shook her head. “Said he wasn’t sure what the person he was looking for would be going by these days.”
“Did he mention why he wants to see me?” I ask as we walk from my office to the circulation desk.
“Forgot to ask.” She said sheepishly.
I shook my head in the brief moments before we entered the area behind circulation. “Try to remember next time.” And then I forced the work smile I had gotten so used to onto my face. And the hurt I had been feeling everyday got crushed by it and the smile became a little more genuine since I didn’t quite feel like I’d burst into tears at any moment. I’d finally gotten the upper hand on the sadness that overcame me whenever I thought of how long it had been since I had set foot in Fortuna. I guess I had finally come to terms with the fact I’d never see it again. It was only a string of dreams that had felt too real just like they all did.
No matter how much I told myself that I still hoped I would be wrong. But I’m a grownup and dreams are just dreams. Nothing more. Just something the brain concocts to work through things my waking self hasn’t bothered to deal with yet. And apparently I dealt with whatever it was that had spurred those dreams.
Exiting the shelves from the room behind Circ, I smiled, eyes shut to lessen the chance I might start crying and said, “my student worker says you’re looking for someone who looks like me.”
And then I opened my eyes and I could feel the tears blossom in them. It was him. I opened my mouth to ask how I could help him but my voice cracked. I had to be going crazy. It couldn’t be him.
But it was. White hair, red leather coat and those steel grey eyes. It was him. Noone of this world, this waking world of mine, looked like that.
And then he was behind the desk and his arms were around me and his lips were on mine. The tears couldn’t be held back any more and I clutched his coat to make sure he couldn’t disappear from right in front of me like morning mist burning away at sunrise. But the way his hands wove into my hair and the rough feel of his stubble brushing against my face, it was all so very real. And after a few moments our lips parted and he rested his forehead against mine and his hands ran through my hair so that his arms could slip down around me to hold me securely.
“I didn’t think you were real.” I whispered. “I thought it was all a dream. But goddamn if all this is some hallucination, if I’ve gone crazy I don’t want to be sane.”
He laughed, it was almost breathy and that was when I noticed tears running down his face too. “I was getting worried I wouldn’t be able to find you, Babe.”
And I buried my face in the warm leather of his shirt, not wanting to display my sobs for all the library to see. But unlike all the tears I had shed the last two months, these were very much happy tears.
No comments:
Post a Comment